8.24.2010

1st day of school

They are off to 3rd Grade, 2nd Grade, and Preschool!!

Andrew doesn't have to wear a uniform yet, that process will be interesting next year!

At the school with friends!

Davis and his buddy since Kindergarten... still in the same class! They were both pretty excited.

After school, one of the first kids out... he ran to the van...
And had a lot to talk about!!

Finally... here she comes!
The older 2 had great first days and lots to talk about AND homework!! They both got the teachers they were hoping for but did miss having some friends in their classes.
So I totally forgot the camera the next day when Andrew had his "real" first day of school.... I know, I know... terrible Mommy!!!
When I picked up Andrew after his first day I asked him "What did you do at school?" His first response was of course "nothing", then he said "I just waited." I asked, "waited for what?"
"I just waited until it was time to go home."
:(
In preschool the kids only go every other day the first week. So today started the everyday schedule. He is having trouble with transitioning at the beginning of class, which is what we had expected. He doesn't talk or particpate at first. I just hope it gets better, easier for him. My heart just breaks in the morning as I watch him struggle with such anxiety.
I haven't figured out what the deal is AFTER school for Andrew. I suppose it's still a lot of anxiety with transitioning, leaving school. He is very edgey, frustrated, almost angry.
That is lasting for a couple hours!
It's a "transition" for all of us!





8.13.2010

1st Pics!!

Little Girl Kennedy!
No, we haven't decided on a name yet. In fact, we've added a couple to the list!
We had our first 4D ultrasound ever. I've always thought it was kind of creepy when I saw other people's pics. But we figured since this is the last time that it would be fun and neat for the kids too. Sydni was really the only one who appreciated it. And we did get serious CONFIRMATION that she is indeed a girl... I almost posted THAT pic too :)
It is kind of creepy and a little cute how she already looks just like all our other babies.
Now if she only had a name........

8.05.2010

Meet Andrew!

Ok, so the title of this post is probably a little strange... considering Andrew is 4 years old and you all know him already. But most of you don't KNOW him, know him. We've been struggling for about a year now with a lot of social/emotional/behavioral issues. A couple of years ago we thought, "wow, we've blown it with this kid" and had tried (to what seems like no avail) to "fix" him with discipline. Over this last year+ of watching Lincoln develop we realized that Andrew's issues are not a result of our bad parenting. We've always had a sense that something was just different with him. Well, this week we were reassured (by a professional) that we are not crazy nor should we receive the "Worst Parents of the Year" award. WHEWWW!!!!!
So what exactly does all that mean? The shortest, easiest way to explain the medical, professional side of this is...
He has some traits of autism and some traits of ADD, not enough to diagnose him with either one. We will go back to the developmental pediatrician in a couple of months for another evaluation. Andrew will be starting preschool in less than 2 weeks. So it is our hope that we will have more insight into those traits after being in school for a little while. In addition, we will also have his teacher's observations.
So who is Andrew...
a lot of energy!
doesn't adapt to change well.
likes a rigid routine.
likes familiarity.
uncomfortable with large groups of people,
especially ones he doesn't know.
enjoys alone time.
isn't affectionate.
isn't empathetic.
can't express emotion properly.
eats a very limited menu.
That list just comes off the top of my head. Can you imagine how this affects our family and daily life? Probably not, unless you have been in a similar situation.
So let's look at a "typical" day...
Breakfast=Cereal. The same cereal he eats every day. And he has to sit in the same spot.
Getting dressed can be too overwhelming to chose or make sure it's weather appropriate. Early summer still requires long pants because shorts are too uncomfortable, he will constantly pull at them but eventually realizes how uncomfortable it is to where pants when it's so hot.
He LOVES movies and has to watch them from the VERY beginning (including previews, warnings, etc). If he can't watch the entire thing it HAS to be paused so he can finish it as soon as we get home or get done eating or whatever the reason is. He will watch movies, often times the same movie over and over, all day long if you let him.
When going somewhere like Walmart, he has to know where we are going, what we are going to get, what HE can get... and if he sees something HE thinks we NEED then we better get or he will continue to be very adamant about getting it, and not in a normal way that he will eventually get over when he sees something else... but he will OBSESS about it.
So let's say that obsessive little temper tantrum happens until we are in line, being stared at, and FINALLY make back to the car. He will continue in this fit and probably fall asleep on the way home... which is great for the moment.
So on to the next dilema... wake him up? so he can pick up EXACTLY where he left off when he fell asleep or let him sleep in the car, which means I stay in the car............
Lunch=PB&J, almost everyday. sometimes chicken nuggets (the only meat he will eat)
Nap? not anymore!
We have to go pick up kids from school which means going early to get a parking spot closer to the door. We DO NOT go in, the kids come to us. But Andrew isn't content just waiting in the car. Because he has NO FEAR WHATSOEVER he will run off around the corner of the building where I can't see him, if I let him out. Keep in mind I also have either been pregnant or had Lincoln with me... and add another baby soon?!!! So I try to entertain him in the car for 15ish minutes.
Dinner. Make that 2 dinners. Andrew eats a VERY limited menu. Most nights he eats mac n cheese, PB&J, or cereal. It's not that he's spoiled or we haven't tried... he has gone almost 2 entire days without eating when we have let this become a battle. And our other kids (including Lincoln) eat a variety... even fish and spinach!
Evening.... one word... ROUTINE! Or there will be a huge, long process to get him to go to sleep.
But once he is asleep... he is asleep!!!! If, however, he has a fit (kind of like the walmart thing) before bed, he will wake up upset about that same thing still.
Sundays and church have been our biggest clue as to the traits he has that involve other people and structure and routine. He has been known to run away from the gym where ALL the kids are playing, and go back to HIS room, ALONE. If he is in a new room or has new teachers or has a lot of new kids he doesn't know... he will hide under a bench and not participate. He may also sit and play by himself.
He really has a hard time with emotions. He is either fine or upset, there isn't a whole lot of gray area there for a range of emotions.
So this is just a peek...just the big, major stuff. We have learned how to stop a lot of it before it gets started. Now we are coaching Sydni and Davis. It has been a LONG & HARD summer to say the least!!! It is exhausting!

I always think about THAT mom in Walmart that has the bratty kid that throws a fit through the ENTIRE store... maybe she was just doing what she had to do and just maybe her kid wasn't bratty after all. It has been a long couple of years of struggling with the LOOKS and comments... and I think we are finally over it. We know that it is not best to keep Andrew home, sheltered. And we know that he is going to have bad days. But we also have things that need to get done.
So if you happen to see us at Walmart or church or the park or a family reunion... meet Andrew all over again, knowing a little more now, and appreciate the sweet boy that he is!

8.04.2010

Names??? again...

Wouldn't ya know it... I (Salyna) write the names post and hours later, while putting a crib together, Miles says "I was just saying names in my head and I think I like Amelia." Emphasis mine, of course! So I guess all of us will be waiting until approximately Nov. 18th to know for sure! Yes, there is now a 2nd crib up! We found a great used one today and couldn't wait to put it together. Now I will have some extra room to start collecting girly things :)

Names???

So with about 3 1/2 months left to go until we meet our little girl the name game is in full swing.
The only thing we've decided for sure is that her middle name will be Salyna's mom's middle name, Louise. There seems to be a process we always go through and it always starts with the middle name. It has to be a family name, since Miles and I both have family middle names we want to carry on that tradition. Since Sharon passed away almost two years ago and she always wanted us to have another girl, it was just obvious to both of us after we found out we were having a girl. So the middle name posed no issues, no debates, no lists. Now the first name... that is another story. Our process has always been... Salyna makes a list of names she likes, Miles goes over the list and usually crosses them all off, repeat 2 or 3 times. Then the last list Salyna makes will have some favorites from the very first list and Miles will decide he loves one of THOSE names... whewwww! The list process this time has been shortened extremely but it has still been a process. Salyna has always liked the name Maci Rae (Rae was her paternal Grandma's middle name). But that name would now be Maci Louise.
So that is where the name discussion began this time... but now include the kids!!! And Miles decides right away that he doesn't like it! Sydni decides she likes it so much that she is actually calling the baby that regardless of what anyone else says! So Salyna has a couple of other names... Amelia, Ella, Emilia (em-eeh-lee-ah). Miles likes Amelia but thinks it may be too "old lady-ish"... Davis and Andrew take to Amelia and begin calling the baby that.
Poor girl is going to have a complex before she's even out of the womb?!
Then just a few nights ago Miles is having a "private" conversation with our baby girl. The topic, her name. And wouldn't you know it... Miles does like Maci!!!!
Now it's not FOR SURE until we fill out the paperwork at the hospital but Salyna thinks that her first name has won out!